I leave tomorrow and it still doesn’t feel real. I feel ready…I’ve said the big goodbyes, packed, got a hair cut and bought a four month supply of my favorite chap stick. I feel adventurous…I want to do everything, go everywhere and meet everybody. I feel confident…I want to establish myself there and make my presence known. I feel restless…I’ve been on idle all summer, just killing time, and am stoked for a new adventure. But it doesn’t feel real, not my reality at least. I keep talking about weekends in France or Eastern Europe and I have to shake my head and ask “who’s life is this?!” Not MY life!
I’ve watched a lot of Star Trek this summer. It’s consumed my late nights and taken over the PVR. When thinking about the exchange I like to pretend that I’m the young and agile Captain Kirk, embarking on a new set of adventures. Set course for Manchester, maximum warp. My four month mission: to explore strange new worlds, seek out new life and civilizations, to boldy go where no Lesley has gone before. I guess that makes this my Captain’s Log. Kirk is brave, passionate, risky, forthright, sexy. I want to be all these things.
I’ve been idling, and I don’t want to be idle anymore. I feel well equipped for this adventure, sure in my options and confident in my choices. I also feel terrified, though I’ve found that since I’ve started saying “I’m terrified” out loud I feel less terrified. So, yes, I’m terrified. But it's late and I have a flight to catch tomorrow. Engage.
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